Emotional Intelligence In Leadership: Practical Growth Strategies for Faith-Driven Leaders
This article was written by Chad Schoonmaker and published by Crossroads Coach.
Growing up, I always assumed I was pretty in touch with my emotions. I’ve always felt things deeply—classic Enneagram 4 energy. I would say I have always been pretty emotionally intelligent.
Even my wife, who’s a therapist, will sometimes turn to me and say, “Okay… how should I be feeling right now? What emotions are you picking up on?” in an attempt to experience some of the emotions I feel.
Lately at Crossroads, we’ve been digging into Emotional Intelligence—what it means, how to grow in it, and how it actually plays out in leadership. Here’s what I am realizing: just because I feel emotions strongly doesn’t mean I automatically understand what others are feeling.
We all experience situations through totally different emotional lenses. Being emotionally aware isn’t just about what’s happening inside of me—it’s about slowing down enough to consider how others are interpreting what’s happening around them.
Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is not just another framework—it’s a powerful tool that equips leaders to serve with clarity, empathy, and resilience. When leaders are emotionally intelligent, they don’t just manage people; they inspire and transform them.
As a business owner, you’ve got a million things to manage—deadlines, training and development, team dynamics, finances, and the unexpected curveballs that show up every day. But if you’re not keeping track of your emotions, you’re missing one of the most important pieces of the puzzle. How you show up emotionally affects how you lead, how you make decisions, and how your team experiences you.
Here’s how I am personally learning how to strengthen my own EQ and grow as the kind of leader others want to follow.
1. Self-Awareness: Know Yourself First
Effective leadership begins with honest self-awareness. Ask yourself:
- Am I mindful of how my emotions shape my behavior, tone, and decisions I make throughout the day?
- Am I aware of the impact I have on my team?
Self-aware leaders can identify triggers in their team, recognize patterns, and respond intentionally rather than reactively. One of the most powerful things you can do is pause, reflect, and ask: What am I feeling? Why? The goal is to be a more thoughtful leader. Adding this practice will help achieve that.
Coaching Tip: Start the day with prayer or quiet reflection. Ask the Lord to reveal what’s really going on in your heart before you open your email and start the day. Spend time in prayer before your staff arrives in the office. Pray over their workspaces or offices.
2. Self-Regulation: Respond, Don’t React
This one definitely takes practice.
Most of us have worked for that boss—the one who was hot-headed, irrational, and quick to belittle others. Nobody wants to be that person. So why risk becoming that kind of leader for our own teams?
Emotionally intelligent leaders don’t suppress their emotions—they manage them.
When frustrations arise, they don’t lash out. When stress builds, they don’t suppress. Instead, they pause, process, and respond in a way that fosters clarity.
Coaching Tip: Create an internal pause button. Before responding to a tense moment, take a deep breath or a quick walk. Even five minutes of space can help you lead instead of react.
3. Motivation: Stay Rooted in Purpose
High-EQ leaders are deeply motivated by values, not ego. Their purpose fuels them through challenges. They don’t need external recognition to stay driven—they’re anchored by something deeper.
As Christian leaders, we’re called to serve others and steward what’s been entrusted to us. Emotional intelligence keeps that mission front and center, even when circumstances get tough.
Coaching Tip: Revisit your “why.” What is the mission God has placed on your heart right now? How can your leadership style reflect your “why”? Not sure where to start? We can help!
4. Empathy: Lead with Compassion
Empathy is one of the most underutilized leadership superpowers. When you truly listen, put yourself in someone else’s shoes, and care deeply about their perspective, you create a culture of trust and safety.
Empathy doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations—it means having them with grace and understanding.
Coaching Tip: Make it a habit to ask open-ended questions, and then really listen. Not to respond—but to understand.
5. Social Skills: Influence with Integrity
EQ-savvy leaders are great communicators, not because they talk the most, but because they listen well, collaborate easily, and want to see their team grow.
If you’re anything like me, you get caught up in “How many billable hours did you get today?” “Did you see my email about the website changes?” “That deliverable is due today. Where is it?”
We all want to work with a united team. So whether you’re training new hires, invoicing for the month, or resolving internal conflict, social skills rooted in emotional intelligence help build connection and unity among your team.
Coaching Tip: Invest in the relationship with your staff before you need something from them. Be intentional about connecting outside of meetings—people respond to leaders who truly see them. Talk sports. Ask about their kids or spouses. Take them to lunch and leave the tasks at the desk.
Final Thoughts: Growth Takes Time
Emotional intelligence isn’t a checkbox. It’s a long-term pursuit of maturity and growth. As you invest in these areas, you’ll not only become a better leader for your business, but you’ll become more of the person God has called you to be.